Good Christians Don't Play Chess

I was looking for something else, and  came across this essay: The Subtle Sin of Chess

A further heresy implicit in the play of Chess, is that of returning lost souls to play. If a simple pawn makes it unmolested to the final rank of the enemy's side, he can be transmuted to any other piece of the game. In this manner, lost pieces can be regained. The bible clearly shows that there is only one event of importance following an individual's death, and that is the judgement. After that, the soul is sent Heavenwards or dropped into the Lake of Fire. Reincarnation is the devil's idea.

In addition to problems with the rules, certain conventions of game play are offensive to any True Christian that has seen the Truth. It is possible, if care is not taken, to move the Knight in such a manner that the outline of a Pentagram is described on the board, an incontrovertible sign of Satan.

Most frighteningly, throughout most of the game, the mechanism of capturing a piece results in removal of the lost piece. In the final move, of EVERY chess game, the King is not captured. Instead, the losing player lays his King down on the board, mimicking a ritualistic HUMAN SACRIFICE!

Does it still sound like a simple 'Game?'

I can't tell if this is a parody or not.

Comments

[Ms. Cornelius]

That's... just... CRAZY.

Happy Thanksgiving, Liz!

[Samantha]

Well, given some of the other stuff at that site I think it's a parody. But I'm sure that someone somewhere actually thinks this (shudder).

[Elephanticity]

I did intend it as a comedy. Parody. Satire. A counter attack on the 'christains and AD&D' lectures.

Of course, all humor requires a victim. The one i had in mind here was the reader that took it at face value and found it sound. Such people exist, i have learned.
Many have thought it was real and taken pains to refute each point. Many have thought it was a parody and taken such pains. One person actually quoted it to me on an Atheist website i frequent, with sincerity. That was so incredibly cool...