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Saturday, August 11, 2007

Comments

Marianne Richmond

You raise some interesting points...I do think to say that the CPA study was "misrepresented" is a bit harsh.

Also, although I don't disagree with some of your issues with the study itself and I have not read the research, it seems to me that the point being made, that college students are in frequent "touch" with their parents is nonetheless accurate.

We are all in frequent if not constant communications and this has and will change our relationships with our families, friends, acquaintances and jst about every aspect of our society.

I think your question about which is the tail and which is the dog in this whole thing is very important....constance communication does not in nd of itself make a helicopter parent. And a helicopter parent does not necessarily need to use the tools to fly the copter.

I frequently discuss with fellow parents how different our relationships are with our kids versus our relationships with our parents...it seems to me to be the level of engagement and active involvement that we have with our kids versus a certain lack of engagement that our parents had in our lives.

Does elevated engagement equal a helicopter?
Not necessarily.

The helicopter engines fire up when the engagement turns to interference....from knowing for instance that your child has a problem with a professor, discussing the issue with your child, offering advice. That is engagement. Once you contact the professor or the school, your attorney...then your flying.

Marianne

Pat Kirk

Just because a person turns the magic number of eighteen years old does not mean they are responsible and mature adults. To the contrary, most eighteen year old individuals are not since it takes several years to transition into adulthood. This transition period is where parents can assist and support their young adult children in reaching their full potential. Most parents care about their adult children staying on track - staying away from drugs and alcohol abuse, pursuing their education and dreams, and finally making it on their own. Some young adult children need more communication and support than others. Most parents, not all, truly care about their adult children and do not want to intervene unless there is a health issue and generally want to support their adult children into adulthood. Yes, there are some domineering and controlling parents, however, that is generally not the case.

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