I Speak of Dreams

Unfounded Assumptions Lead To Bad Problem Solving: Teens, Online Behavior, Sex, and Age-Verification Technology

If your child is online--if your child uses social networking software such as MySpace--is he or she at great risk from being solicited for sex by a predatory adult? 

Some parents think so, but as Larry Magid reports

Drawing from several surveys and studies, all the researchers said the risk of a child being forced into sex from an online predator is almost non-existant.

It's in today's Digital Crossroads column, Larry reports on the recent meeting of the Internet Safety Technical Taskforce (ISTT), featuring  the research of  Michelle Ybarra, Janis Wolak, Amanda Lenhart, and Dana Boyd.  Please read Larry's whole column for a detailed and nuanced report on teens, sex, and online behavior.

The impetus behind the task force is to mandate age-verification for internet sites, to protect children from adult predators.  But if  the problem isn't that children are being approached by adults for sexual purposes--is that the appropriate response?

You should go read Larry's whole column

Attention Parents: Is Your Girl on MySpace? Watch Out for the Pink Patch

 

The Pink Patch's advertising:  Want to lose those pesky 5 lbs? Want to make your skinny jeans your regular jeans? Then get Skinny with the New Pink Diet Patch! A weight loss solution created by women and for women like you.

Ads for the Pink Patch are plastered all over MySpace.

From The Blog that Ate Manhatten: The Pink Patch--Irresponsible Advertising on MySpace

The Pink Patch is blatantly marketed to teens and young women, with slogans like "Be the envy of every girl you know", and comments about dining hall food and term paper stress.

Of course, you need a credit card to buy the Pink Patch, which limits its availability to older teens and college age girls. Fortunately, that's just the market they're going after.

Yes, this is America, and yes the FDA has no regulatory power over herbal products such as the Pink Patch.

But MySpace's central place in teen culture imparts a responsibility to its owners to act responsibly in choosing advertisers. I notice there are no liquor or tobacco ads. They know that this would just not fly.

Parents, talk to your daughters about the uselessness (and possible risks) of the Pink Patch.  You might want to read the ads with them and point out how they are preying on women's body-image issues.

Unless you are one of those parents who would use the Pink Patch yourself.

Another Post on Homework: When Is An Online Study Group Cheating? -- The Chris Avenir Story

Chris Avenir is a freshman at Ryerson University (Toronto, Canada), studying computer engineering.  He was enrolled in a chemistry class last fall, in which the professor assigned problem sets (online?  Through Blackboard or its equivalent?) which students were required to complete individually.

Avenir became part of an on-line study group through Facebook, eventually becoming the moderator.

As this Ryerson graduate said, it isn't unusual for college students to form study groups:

I recall studying, night after night, with three students. We teamed up to solve the homework problems. Every Ryerson engineering student was part of a similar group. No one could have solved the problems by themselves.

It makes sense.  A student has so much work in the engineering program that teamwork is a necessity.

As Avenir described the kind of interaction that went on in the group, it certainly sounded like any face-to-face study group:

"So we each would be given chemistry questions and if we were having trouble, we'd post the question and say: `Does anyone get how to do this one? I didn't get it right and I don't know what I'm doing wrong.' Exactly what we would say to each other if we were sitting in the Dungeon" [a study area used by engineering student] said Avenir yesterday.

However, the professor teaching the chemistry course ran across the study group on Facebook and reacted quite strongly:

[Avenir] had earned a B in the class, but after the professor discovered the Facebook group over the holidays, the mark was changed to an F. The professor reported the incident to the school's student conduct officer and recommended expulsion.

Avenir was charged with one count of academic misconduct and 146 counts of enabling academic misconduct -- one for each of the students belonging to the Facebook group.  Not one other member of the Facebook group was charged.

On March 11, Avenir's case was heard before a faculty body.

News reports indicate that the professor "stipulated the online homework questions were to be done independently".  However,  it is not clear how rigorous the requirement was.  Could a student be tutored?  Doesn't the tutor reteach material the student is confused about?  If the tutor spots a math error in the student's solution to a chemistry problem -- is it "cheating" for the tutor to point out the student's error?

Was Avenir cheating, or just using a study group?  Were other members of the group cheating?  Why was Avenir the only one punished?

Further Developments: Lori Drew's Moral Bankruptcy

Update: it turns out the blog Karoli was referring to, Meganhaditcoming, was NOT written by Lori Drew. Karoli writes, Mea culpa, mea culpa. 

Although I did disclaim my last post on Lori Drew with the caveat that the MeganHadItComing blog could be an invention, I wrote as if it were truly from Lori Drew.

So it wasn't Lori Drew writing.  Somebody could think and write in that tone.  It's still sick.

You must read Karoli's further account of Lori Drew's sociopath-like behavior, and danah boyd's essay.

Karoli puts Lori Drew's self-serving words into real language

Permit me to paraphrase in real language: That bitch attacked my precious, and I want to beat the shit out of her in person. Or her parents. But since that wasn’t an option, I came up with a plan…

 

danah:

Deceiving children is problematic to begin with, but doing so by tapping into their emotional weaknesses is outright deadly. At a gut level, Lori knew that she could capture Megan's attention by creating a male character that showed interest. In other words, Lori knew how to manipulate Megan's attention and emotions. She capitalized on that knowledge, self-justifying it as responsible parenting. She knew how to have the "perfect" relationship with Megan, to gain her trust. This is knowledge that adults have because we've had our mistakes and learned how to negotiate social interactions. The reason that Megan's relationships were so fraught was probably not because she was evil but because she and her peers were struggling with how to appropriately interact with one another. It's clear from Megan's reaction to Josh that she was fully capable of positive interactions in a social context not strife with miscommunication and the confusion of school status. If she were truly as messed up as Lori assumed her to be, she would not be capable of this.

In my opinion, by choosing to "teach her a lesson," Lori acted in a manner that was both ethically and morally inappropriate. Revenge is foolish in every context, but adults should never take revenge on children, regardless of how much those children upset them. This is an abuse of power. Furthermore, it signals to Lori's daughter that revenge is an OK response to being hurt. Whatever happened to "turn the other cheek"? For a Christian society, we don't do a good job of upholding basic Christian values.

First post here

Beyond Appalling and Disgusting: The Thug John Best, jr

Update: Best's behavior constitutes cyberbullying.

I have an internet friend I've never met in real life, Kevin Leitch.  I know he is a real person, through a number of sources.  Until this weekend, he wrote the excellent blog Left Brain / Right Brain.  He is closing it because a moral midget named John Best is harassing his daughter, who has autism.

The reason LB/RB is shutting is because I cannot continue to allow my beautiful eldest girl to be exposed to the hatred and bullying she is recieving from John Best. John has seen fit to compare my beautiful child to a trained monkey because he didn't like the fact she was progressing. He has made numerous jokes at her expense on that theme. He has assumed her identity online. He has encouraged others to do the same.

John Best also appears as "Fore Sam" in blog comments.

I will miss Kev's commentary and especially his wonderful videos of his daughter.

More expressions of regret from:

• Kristina Chew
• Skeptico
• Estee Klar-Wolfond
• Joseph of Natural Variations
• Orac of Respectful Insolence
• The Bronze Blog
• The Voyage
• Living Healthy Centre (UK)
• One Dad's Opinion
• Odd Time Signatures (Karoli's even more irate than I am)
• Club 166's tribute to Kev

If you'd like to see a sample of what passes for Best's thinking, Joseph of Natural Variations compiled a  list of "John Best's Greatest Hits", back in March 2006.

Doug Johnson: Why Filters Don't Work

You should go read Doug Johnson's post, Due diligence.

If schools are relying on filters (and tech staff) alone to protect students from inappropriate content, I hope the superintendent gets canned rather than the IT director. But both ought to know better. If Kurt has promised that his filter by itself keeps kids safe or if his administrator has the expectation that he will keep kids safe by filtering alone, both ought to find other work.

He has three good reasons why filters alone are not sufficient to protect kids from inappropriate content on the Web.

Can I Sit With You? A Writing Project and Innovative Fundraising Campaign

Two of my pals have started a writing project, for kids and adults, on surviving the sometimes painful social life in school.   It's called Can I Sit With You?

The project has two goals: to help kids understand that many are "mystified or terrorized by the schoolyard social scene",  and to use funds from the project to support SEPTAR:

SEPTAR is the Special Education Parent Teacher Association for Redwood City. We bring families and educators together to meet the special education needs of children in Redwood City.

Below the fold, more information.

Prejudiced Parents, College Dorm Assignments, and Social Networking

This is one of a series of posts on the meme of  "Helicopter Parenting and the College-Bound Child: A Meaningful National Problem?"

The story opens thusly:

As housing officials at colleges around the country send out roommate assignments to freshmen this summer, a growing number of schools say they're getting more requests for changes — from parents who don't like the roommates' Facebook profiles.

Marianne Richmond wrote a post at Blogher the Helicopter Parents and Facebook, which lead me to to Anastasia Goodstein's similar entry at the Huffington Post.

The gist of both posts: there are Helicopter Parents who look at their child's prospective roommates' listings on FB, and object to the assignment based on the roommates' religion, race or sexual orientation.

I agree with Marianne and Anastasia that parents who interfere with housing office as to roommate assignments are infantilizing their college-age children.  I also agree that parents meddling because of concerns about said prospective roommates' sexual orientation or race or religion is despicable. I just wonder (a) is this a new phenomenon and (b) how much of a trend is it?

Parents of Current College Students and Changes in Communication Habits

This is one of a series of posts on the meme of  "Helicopter Parenting and the College-Bound Child: A Meaningful National Problem"

My previous post, GASP! Overinvolved Parents! National Emergency! NOT! looked at some evidence for parental under-involvement being the real problem.  This post looks at some aspects in the change of our communication patterns as they pertain to students in college who don't live at home.

 

GASP! Overinvolved Parents! National Emergency! NOT

This is the first of a series of posts on meme of  "Helicopter Parenting and the College-Bound Child: A Meaningful National Problem".  These are being written, and posted, in series, so some links to be added later.

The college admissions season is over, so a pause in the stories with the themes of  "it is so hard to get into college" and "parents/students  are cheating to get into college".  Now it is the season for breathless stories of Helicopter Parents and the Millennial Generation.

True to form: Duke Magazine in January/February;  Why Helicopter? from the Waterloo-Cedar Falls Courier July 14 2007; Helicopter Horror Stories from the Times Herald-Record July 15 2007;   Beyond Helicopter into Tank Parenting at the University of Virginia July 23, 2007; Helicopter Parents Use Facebook to Screen Their Childrens' Roommates August 8, 2007 in USA Today and ABC; Helicopter Parents and the Transition to Work August 10 2007 in the Bend Weekly; Learn How To Let Go  July 29, 2007 in the Louisville Courier; The Dangers of Helicopter Parents July 24 2007 in the Statesman Journal.

I'm sure there will be more.  But really now.  Marianne Richmond, in a post responding to the USA Today-ABC story, wrote

From being buckled into car seats and bike helmets, to scheduled play dates, the Millenials have been constantly supervised and instead of feeling smothered, they apparently report that they feel very close to their parents.

Uhm.  That would be middle-class (and above) children, mostly white.

"The major problem nationally is underinvolved parents," said psychologist Michael Thompson, co-author of "The Pressured Child: Helping Your Child Find Success in School and Life." "But in affluent suburban neighborhoods, you get a lot of parents who are way overinvolved.