One of Mr. Idaho's baseline attributes is that he has a short but powerful body that he can not always control as well as he would like. Or even think of controlling. But he needs to move, and bump into things, and thrash about.
Another is that his baseline, his normal, speaking voice is Drill Sergeant. Really. I was calling on a neighbor two houses down the other day and could clearly hear him... from inside my house. Just talking about what he was hoping was available for snack.
To be honest, a lot of Mr. Idaho's ways chap my hide. I find being addressed by a Drill Sergeant aversive -- I don't like being blared at. I could say he is a bull in a china shop. And so on.
In the olden days, before I had autistic friends, I might have had the idea that I could shame or discipline Mr. Idaho out of ... being who he was by nature.
But then I met for example, Julia Bascom, who let me peek into her world with the The Obsessive Joy Of Autism. And many have spoken of the cost of passing for neurotypical. Cynthia Kim's article Acceptance As A Well Being Practice is particularly insightful.
So I shifted my point of view. My goal has become to find time and space to allow and encourage Mr. Idaho to be his natural self, his loud, exuberant, boisterous self....in ways where he doesn't run into limits or inadvertent bad outcomes.
I would not have gotten to this place of seeking settings for Mr. Idaho to be himself without the wisdom and guidance of my autistic friends. Thank you. And Mr. Idaho thanks you. He is a happier, more confident, more joyous boy.
Edited to add: if you have favorite essays about the cost of passing, or how acceptance has changed your life, or similar topics, please put links in the comments.