Pandering to Children I

Joanne Jacobs has a post and discussion on Martin Booe's essay on the rise of brats. (Also available here)

These "child centered" methods have names: attachment parenting, Seven Baby B's Sears method, the Natural Child parenting, Taking Children Seriously.

Some people have been on to the brat-raising potential of these methods for a long time.

Some parents have realized the Sears/attachment technique results in brats. Robert Shaw, a Berkely psychiatrist, calls the situation The Epidemic and has written a book about it.

BRATS! is a place for those vexed by the child-rearing methods of others to express themselves.

The Ezzo method, which is diametrically opposed to "child-centered methods", is not the answer, as it endangers infants. This site refutes the Ezzos' claims and gives parents alternatives (especially parents in fundamentalist churches who may use Ezzo methodology in "biblical parenting" classes. ("biblical parenting" is a big deal in some circles; there's even a national center.

The Ezzo method is worse (in the opposite direction), in that the child suffers. "Bibilical"
An essay on how to raise a brat from a Christian perspective;

Harvey Karp has a great brat antidote, as do Love & Logic. Character Education has some overviews.

Comments

[Kimberly]

I know many people raising their children based on the principles of attachment parenting and the big question that always enters my mind when they talk about it is, "How will you teach your children to have boundaries if you have none for yourself?"

I think having a website devoted to bitching about how other people raise their children is a bit over the top though.

[TulipGirl]

"I know many people raising their children based on the principles of attachment parenting and the big question that always enters my mind when they talk about it is, "How will you teach your children to have boundaries if you have none for yourself?""

If I understand what you are saying, you are saying AP=No Boundaries for parent and child.

While I won't deny there are some parents who are pushovers in the name of AP, I also know many parents who are AP and also practice gentle discipline. Discipline that is firm, loving, and non-punitive.

I like the results that I see in their families. It is definitely NOT a case of no discipline or no boundaries.

[jen]

As with any parenting technique, whether the child turns out to be a brat or not has more to do with how the parents interpret it and live their parenting theories on a day-to-day basis. I know AP-parented kids who are wonderful, and AP brats. I also know a lot of brats whose parents were the furthest imaginable from AP. No one theory of parenting guarantees brats or no brats, criminals or no criminals.

[Emily]

Just like spanking, attachment parenting can be abused, but if done right, it can produce healthy well-rounded children. My cousin, for instance, used AP for her children - breastfeeding, co-sleeping, etc. - but she also had boundaries and if necessary discipline, including spanking when warranted (which was not very often because giving kids boundaries makes them less likely to misbehave in the first place). On the other hand, some AP advocates talk about getting rid of punishment altogether, not only spanking but time-outs and what have you. A good example: many of the members of the website Gentle Christian Mothers. Then they wonder why even some of their family members (including husbands) find their children intolerable.