Blogs and online presences (such as those at MySpace) are here to stay. Children born after about 1985 are, in Mark Prensky's words, "digital natives"--they've grown up with computers and internet access.
In Part I, I laid out a brief (and not necessarily completely accurate) view of the universe of student-focused on-line personal sites. In Part II, I reviewed the issue of schools limiting and/or banning student access to such sites. In Part III, I made the case that the fear of "online predators" finding kids from blogs and social networking sites is overblown, and reduces teens' belief in what adults say about their presence on such sites. In Part IV, I discussed the real risk to students who use blogs and social networking sites: other students' cruel, rude, or illegal Behavior (or the poster's own cruel, rude, or illegal behavior). In Part V, I discussed the benefits of blogging, personal and educational. Here in part VI, I will discuss (a) How should parents and schools respond to students' postings on the internet, no matter what kind of site? and (b) some suggestions to teens for "a personal online code of behavior."
Much of the commentary on teen blogs and online social networking has focussed on the risks, rather than the rewards. I think this is a mistake (although natural)--danger and risk attracts readership, good news doesn't. But what should adults do?--adults as parents, and adults as school administrators and educators.
Another point is that the commentary has focussed on "teens". A good and useful internet interaction for an 18-year-old--a "teen"--would be entirely inappropriate for a 13-year-old--also a "teen". And there are children of a certain age--say 15--who vary wildly in their social and emotional maturity. In other words, an online site or interaction that would be appropriate for your mature 15-year-old may be overwhelming for my young for chronological age 15-year-old. In my recommendations, I will attempt to focus on social maturity, rather than chronological age.
What Should Parents Do? What Should Schools Do? Sample Family Internet PolicySample Blogging (or MySpace) Policy
What Parents Should Do
Our job as parents is to teach them how to use these tools safely and appropriately. Our job as educators (and I count myself as an educator) is the same.
Computer Access Generally
Below the age of 15 or so, children should not have unsupervised access to the internet. There are too many opportunities for inappropriate interactions. If the child has internet access at school, this would be a good time for parents to read and understand the school's computer use agreement, and to discuss the implications with each of the children in the family.
I do not recommend spyware such as SpectorSoft or E-Blaster, because using such software does not encourage trust in the child. If you have to resort to such spyware, you have a bigger problem than just your child's on-line activities. But I know other families have different values.
As this mother said,
My 15-year-old daughter is smart, talented, and very pretty. However, she has never really been 'chatty' and she has always been mature for her age. Although she has become a lot more open over the last couple of years, she mostly keeps her thoughts to herself. This has always worried me, so I put the Spector Pro [monitoring] software on my computer the summer before she entered 7th grade. It records everything on your computer. I was absolutely shocked at the language she used and the many sexual references made. I decided not to tell her that I was able to read all her IM conversations because it was the only way that I was ever going to know what she was doing.
If the child has his or her own computer, try to remove it from the bedroom until the child is well into high school. Locate it in a public space (like the living room) so that the child has a bit of an inhibition about doing something like looking at inappropriate sites. This will also let the parent see how much time is actually spent using the computer for educational uses, as opposed to Instant Messaging (IM)
Consider Drafting A Family Computer and Internet Use Policy
Your child's school probably has a computer use policy and/or an internet use policy. Read it and see if you should adapt it to have a similar policy for your family computer(s). Easthampton High School, in Massachussetts, has a particularly well-written one , and there's one a the bottom of this post that's derived from the Easthampton High policy). This is an excellent opportunity for family discussion about appropriate behavior, on and off the web.
Parents of Children Under 15 (or so)
In my view, the parents' role for younger children is different than older children. We want to start with a great deal of supervision, and slowly reduce the amount as our children become more mature.
Chatrooms--Preteens, Young Teens, and Older Teen
I do not think that younger children belong in chatrooms, supervised or unsupervised. It is just beyond their maturity level. You should be aware of your child's use of chatrooms, in any case. Chats can be benign, but you never know who is on the other side of the screen. They can also be an incredible time-sink.
Blogging--Preteens, Young Teens, and Older Teens
I think it is entirely appropriate for a young child to engage in online blogging, provided the parents are aware of the blog, and the blog is password-protected. Xanga's terms of use require the account-holder to be at least 13; LiveJournal does not have a user's age limitation, but "Users under 13 years of age are required to have a parent or guardian review and complete the registration process."
Social Networking Software--Preteens, Young Teens, and Older Teens
I see no reason for those younger than 14 to have a presence on social networking software. If your younger-than-14 year old has a MySpace presence, your child has violated the terms of service ("If you’re under 14, MySpace is not the place for you. Go away. If we find out a user is under 14, we will delete his or her profile.") I think that is a good cause for a family discussion about ethics and appropriate internet use, and possibly some consequences.
For teens from 14 to 16 or so, your family should look at MySpace and decide if your teen's use of MySpace is compatible with your family values. MySpace is, for the most part, wholesome. However, some of the profiling questions may be age-inappropriate. Here's a sample:
==============
Marital Status:
Swinger
In a Relationship
Single
Divorced
MarriedSexual Orientation:
Bi
Lesbian
Straight
Not Sure
No Answer
If those aren't questions your family is comfortable with, perhaps your child should not be allowed to have a Myspace account.
A Word To Parents About Objectionable Language
Many MySpace users (and bloggers) use language that would be bleeped out on the radio. Personally, I know children who use language on Myspace that I would not accept hearing. I don't comment on it.
======================
What Should Schools Do?
What should schools do about their students' use of the internet, especially in the newer media of blogging and social networking software.
There are two separate issues here:
- Students' acceptable use of the school's computer and internet resources, and
- Students' behavior on non-school computers and on the internet generally.
Limits on Students' Use of School-Owned Resources:
At the very least, every school that supplies computers and internet access to students should have an formal, written, acceptable use policy (AUP). Dave Kinnaman's essay, Critiquing Acceptable Use Policies , is excellent, as is The Internet Advocate's Develop an Acceptable Use Policy guide. Parents should really understand the limits and breadth of the school's AUP, and should work with the school to update or rationalize the school's AUP if necessary. The way in which students are using computers within the school is evolving.
Schools' Response to Students' Off-Campus Behavior
There are several sub-issues here:
- Off-campus behavior that is illegal (such as underaged drinking, threats to injure another student, and so on.)
- Off-campus behavior that is objectionable (such as one student harshly criticizing another, )
- Off-campus behavior that is displeasing (such as a student being harshly critical of a particular faculty member or the adminstration as a whole)
It's important, as we look at the school's response, to recognize that all of these behaviors have always happened, with or without the Internet. The difference is how the school becomes aware of the behaviors.
According to the National School Board Association's September 2003 Leadership Insider Newsletter (PDF download link on this page), public schools can discipline students for off-campus activities, including websites that are maintained off-campus. The limit, for public schools, are First Amendment rights: the school has to show that "a true threat or strong potential to disrupt school operations" -- otherwise it is protected speech (even if insulting or offensive).
Schools, both public and private, should have very clear policies about what can be said about the school and its employees. In 1999, the courts found that a student's website, critical of the school district, was protected speech.
http://www.eff.org/bloggers/lg/faq-students.php
More good advice, in no particular order:
- Get NetWise, a public service site provided by a coalition of a wide range of Internet industry corporations and public interest organizations. The GetNetWise coalition wants Internet users to be only "one click away" from the resources they need to make informed decisions about their and their family's use of the Internet.
- Protecting Our Kids on The Internet
- The American Library Association's suggestions for safe web use for children and their parents
- Dr. Susan Linn's tips on talking to your children about internet safety
- BlogSafety.com
- SafeKids
- SafeTeens--I particularly like his
- email etiquette tips
- StaySafe
- NetFamilyNews
- NetSmartz--an "interactive, educational safety resource to teach kids and teens how to stay safer on the Internet.... NetSmartz was created by the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children® (NCMEC) and Boys & Girls Clubs of America (BGCA)."
- Electronic Freedom Foundation's How to Blog Safely About Work (Or Anything Else)
- Electronic Freedom Foundation's Legal Guide for Bloggers
- MySpace.com's Safety Tips
- Perry Aftab's WiredSafety.com
The well-known and respected technology reporter, Larry Magid, has a suite of sites
From Snopes: Really Good Advice For Anyone, but especially those under 18:
- Never tell anyone your full name, address, phone number, city or any other personal information about yourself or your family.
- Watch what you put on your profile. Don't put your date of birth, especially the year. Remember you are not required to put any information on the profile you don't want to.
- If anyone IM's you or e-mails you and asks where you go to school, where you live or any other personal questions you don't feel comfortable with, do not hesitate to say, "I'm sorry, I don't give out personal information" or "My parents have asked me not to tell that."
- If someone sends you a e-mail form with personal information about themselves on it and suggests you fill one out just like it, be alerted and don't do it. Who knows to where and to whom it will be forwarded!
- If you go into chat rooms and anyone pressures you to talk to them, won't leave you alone or asks for personal information, leave the room immediately!
- If you ever get suggestive, angry or abusive messages tell your parents at once and contact the Internet provider you use and seek assistance.
- Don't respond to e-mail from people you don't know. If you believe you've received something strange, tell your parents.
Consider Developing a Set of Blogging (or Myspace) Principles for Yourself;. Here are mine, and links to some other examples. Mine are based on Socrates' Triple Filter Test . (Thanks to Jim Hutt for reminding me of it.)
- Is it true?
- Is it good?
- Will it be useful (to me or to my readers)?
Well, if you are not sure it is true, you know it is not good, and you tell me that it will not be useful to me, why then tell it to me?”
If I can't verify the truth, (see below), I won't post it. If it isn't in service of the good, I won't write about it (I've violated this one several times in the past, let me tell you). If it isn't useful to me or to others, I won't post it.
Purpose:
I maintain this blog to write about issues and events that interest me, horrify me, enrage me, amuse me, or enlighten me. This blog reflects my views and opinions. Feel fee to disagree, be bored, or offended. I do hope you will find things with which to agree, be entertained, or pleased.
Truth, assertion, and speculation:
I will clearly label matters that I know to be true, assertions of my opinion, and speculation as to the truth.
Privacy: Does It Belong To Me, and Me Alone?
I will try to respect the privacy of others. I won't write about the private lives and issues of those around me, no matter how I hear about them. (This is a lesson I learned the hard way, and yes I have failed this test in the past.) CAVEAT: If someone has published information about herself in her own blog, I will feel free to blog about that information. I won't reveal email addresses.
Fair Use:
I will strive to reproduce the least amount of material from a post or an article that will allow me to carry my arguments. I will link back to the original URL where ever possible. CAVEAT: I may publish at more length from those online publications that do not archive (or change the URLs for archived items), or otherwise make the material unavailable, in order to preserve the meaning of my post.
Right Speech, and Comments:
I will strive not to use objectionable language. I will delete or edit comments that I would object to, if I heard them in person. CAVEAT: I will try to be transparent in such changes. I reserve the right to edit or delete comments from persons I suspect of using multiple names or IP addresses to inflate their presence on this blog. (no "sock puppets"). Spam and off-topic comments will be removed without any notice.
Corrections:
If I make an error of fact, I'll correct it, with an acknowledgement of the error. I will acknowledge when my opinion changed.
Linking and Crediting:
I attempt to provide links to all material I quote on this blog, and also to the site that pointed me to the material of interest wherever possible. CAVEAT: One exception might be to refrain from linking to a site which I find objectionable. I will make the effort to provide interested parties with directions to the site, without linking. CAVEAT: Linkrot happens, and is beyond my control.
Changes to posts:
I reserve the right to change or edit previous posts. I strive to make such changes transparent (such as leaving the post up, and noting the changes), but I also reserve the right to do so behind the scenes.
Transparency:
I will try to reveal any connections or conflicts of interest I have with the subject of posts, or persons I quote.
Credits for inspiration in my principles, in no particular order
Kirk
Lisa (the blogmother of blogging principles, in my view)
Chris Pirillo's Blogging Manifesto
Rebecca Mackinnon, especially disclaimers and code of ethics
Rebecca Blood's The Weblog Hanbook
Charlene Li
Ginger's Blog Policy
Sample Family Computer Use Policy
- All family members are responsible for good behavior on our family's computer(s) networks just as they are at home, at work, and at school. We know that many communications on the internet can be often public in nature. As a family, we agree that our communications individually reflect upon our family. We also agree that our work or our school may have rules for our behavior, and we should be mindful of those rules when we are online. For example, our schools may have rules for behavior and communications, and those may apply to our internet communications, whether or not we are using school computers..
- The computer and the cost of internet access are provided by [the parents]. Access to the computer and the internet is a privilege, not a right, for those members of the family who do not pay for the computer and the internet. The primary use of the computer during the school week is to for the students in the family to do schoolwork--compose and revise papers, conduct research, and do homework. That's a higher priority than entertainment.
- Use of the computer is a privilege, and parents reserve the right to revoke that privilege if the the children misbehave online.
- Use of the computer is a privilege that may not include privacy rights. Parents reserve the right to inspect both files stored on the computer and publicly-available sites
- Use of the computer is a privilege that may not include privacy rights. Only the adults in the family have the right to clear the browser's history logs. If a parent discovers the logs have been cleared, [insert your family's consequence here].
- No one in this family provides our name, address or picture to people or companies on the Internet and Web without good reason. No one in this family under 18 provides our name, address or picture to people or companies on the Internet and Web without permission of the parents
- Everyone in this family is very cautious about receiving or opening attachments or files that could cause damage to the computer (such as a virus
EXAMPLES OF MISBEHAVIOR
- Sending or displaying offensive messages or pictures
- Using obscene language
- Harassing, insulting or attacking others
- Damaging computers, computer systems or computer network
- Violating copyright laws
- Using others' passwords
- Trespassing in others' folders, works or files
CONSEQUENCES OF MISBEHAVIOR
- Violations may result in loss of access.
- Additional disciplinary action may be determined .
============
Part I--Blogging, social networking sites, schools, and risk for teen users
Part II -- Schools Banning Access and Banning Students' Online Presence
Part III--An Overblown Fear: The Internet Predator
Part IV--The Real Risk: Other Students' Cruel, Rude, or Illegal Behavior (or the Poster's Own Cruel, Rude, or Illegal Behavior)
Part V--The Benefits of Blogging, Personal and Educational
Part VI--What Should Parents and Schools Do?
Comments