I Speak of Dreams

Grief, loss, redemption

This is the season of loss...My mother died in late January and my marriage died the same day, three years later.  While my father died in September, I miss him most around his birthday.

It is also the season of loss....

Dan Steinberg (Extreme Teaching) and Kim Steinberg's little daughter Elena (sister of Maggie Rose) died suddenly last week.  He is writing at Dear Elena.  I can only imagine the grief and send all of Elena's loved ones my deepest sympathy.

Joey deVilla's father had been facing ill health with dignity and  courage.  He died today.  My deepest condolences to the entire deVilla clan.

Derek Johnson writes about Susan Atefat-Peckham, who died in a car accident--
the fragility of life.

Bobcats on Parade

The Dread Pirate Roberts and Rexwroth's Daughter have a lovely post on a visiting bobcat.  When I lived here, there was a bobcat that lived in the field below the house (or maybe here), and another (I think a female) that hung around the barn.  I suspect she was mousing in the hayloft.

If you didn't look at them straight-on, they wouldn't move if you got close.

A Mensch.

Estee Klar-Wolfond's step-son Max  has written a moving essay on what it is like to have a brother with autism.

Great New Album

One of my personal favorite bands is Marley's Ghost.   They've just released a new CD, Spooked, (link to purchase page--Sage Arts SA0208 CD) which was produced by Van Dyke Parks.

Don't take my word for it, read the reviews below.

If you'd like to see them live (recommended) here's the calendar

BAW Stumbles on a HyperParent

Big Arm Woman runs into some hyperparenting:

And high-energy mom was seriously talking about enrolling her four-year-old in a Sylvan program over the summer to prepare him for Kindergarten. Jesus squared, people. Seriously. He's FOUR. He doesn't require grammatical remediation or fluency in a foreign language, although sitter-girl does teach them Spanish. In the current situation, he's gonna go to Kindergarten able to do letters, numbers, and to write his name. He'll be able to label both colors and body parts in two languages. He'll know how to use a computer--if he's in a public school, he's gonna be thrown in with kids who can't even do that. And most importantly, he'll have spent a decent portion of his childhood having fun. Remember fun? And childhood? Remember that?

Sylvan is taking advantage of parents' anxieties:

The national tutoring chain has expanded since January [2005] to include students as young as 4 as pre-kindergarten students — part of an increase in tutoring nationwide that analysts attribute to parents eager to push their children to the front of the class.

[snip]

Sylvan's pre-K sessions target basic reading and math skills, such as identifying the beginning, middle and end of a phrase; what sound each letter makes; how to hold a pencil properly; and identifying numbers.

If you need your kid to have those skills, shouldn't you be playing with him or her to see that the fun play builds those skills?

"Hyperparenting is now the most prevalent form of child-rearing in America among the middle and upper-middle class," says [Alvin] Rosenfeld, co-author of a new book, Hyper-Parenting: Are You Hurting Your Child by Trying Too Hard? (St. Martin's Press, $22.95).

 

" 'Start early enough and be intense enough, and you can raise a Tiger Woods.'  . . .  It's so unbalanced. It's a madness."

The Road to Whatever in Real Life

Elliot Curie wrote a book called The Road to Whatever (link takes you to my review).  I was wondering if he was exaggerating a bit--I should have known better.  Mama B is hosting a child who has been thrown away by her family -- story here and here.

Special Education in the News

Nanette Asimov's article on extra-special education at public expense made it seem that SpEd was always a frill--other views here Now there's an article in southern Oregon's Mail Tribune that is more fact-based:

When the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, the law that requires schools to educate children with disabilities, was authorized in 1975, Congress pledged the federal government would reimburse states for 40 percent of the extra costs associated with educating the disabled.  Currently, the federal government pays only 19 percent of those costs
[snip]
"I think we are doing a better job of identifying students with learning disabilities, but I also think there are more families living at poverty level, greater drug involvement and a higher percentage of dysfunctional families that have not provided an enriching learning environment for their children," said Rick Mould, special education director at Central Point School District. "That’s a phenomenon school districts don’t have control over."

Go read the whole thing.

When Abortion is Illegal

The great state of South Dakota has just moved back in time.  Gov.  Mike Rounds said:

"I've indicated I'm pro-life, and I do believe abortion is wrong and that we should do everything we can to save lives," Rounds said before the vote Friday in the House. "If this bill accomplishes that, then I am inclined to sign the bill into law."

At the Blog that Ate Manhattan,  Dr. Gynecologist writes:

I was privileged to listen to an esteemed gynecologic oncologist give a lecture about his life's work. Amidst his tales of the lab, the operating room and the chairman's office, he told us stories of the old days before abortion was legal. In those days, the hospital wards were packed with septic abortion patients. He told us how many lives they saved by not waiting for cultures to diagnose clostridial sepsis. They used to mix the patient's secretions with milk right there in the ER, and look for bubble formation (clostridia is a gas forming bacteria). He told of how he stayed up all night long in the ICU with women who had attempted self-abortion with lye, only to have them die in the morning despite all his efforts. And although he had enormous responsibilities in his specialty, he served for years on the board of his local Planned Parenthood. "It was just something I felt I had to do", he said. "I hope you never live to see the things I saw".

A Word I've Been Searching For

Oohh, from helicopter parents to "sancticmommies"--from Laura at 11D to Jon Podhoretz (via the discussion of "crunchy conservatives".):

"sanctimommy" parenting, which is not so much about raising your own kids as you see fit but more about finding other mothers and fathers wanting because they're not as austere and controlling as you are. There's a lot of sanctimommying over at the Crunchy Con blog.

Truth be told, I have sanctimommy tendencies myself....towards those who are helicopter parents, towards those who control their child's every action, towards the kind of parents Elliott Curie discusses in The Road to Whatever.

Recovering from Katrina

Doctor Hébert writes a great medblog...interspersed with stories of recovering from Katrina.  He lived in Chalmette, Louisiana--his home was under water.   He's relocated to Mississippi, and went back last weekend to retrieve his medical diploma.

Before we went into our house we paused to look at the maple tree in our front yard. It was under 12 feet of saltwater for 9 days, and stood up to 140 mph winds. Most of its branches were stripped away, but there it stood, breathing green leaves in defiance of the surrounding devastation. The only living tree on our block, it is a symbol of nature's immortality if there ever was one.

There's been more New Orleans news recently in my local paper, because of the celebration of  Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday)--but the degree of suffering and loss is just...underwater still. How is it we aren't more engaged as a nation with the staggering events?  I don't know.