I Speak of Dreams

I Want To Thank My Autistic Friends

For reasons, I spend a lot of time with Mr. Idaho, an 11 year old boy who is neurodivergent in various dimensions -- but not autistic.  

One of Mr. Idaho's baseline attributes is that he has a short but powerful body that he can not always control as well as he would like.  Or even think of controlling.  But he needs to move, and bump into things, and thrash about. 

Another is that his baseline, his normal, speaking voice is Drill Sergeant. Really.  I was calling on a neighbor two houses down the other day and could clearly hear him... from inside my house. Just talking about what he was hoping was available for snack. 

To be honest, a lot of Mr. Idaho's ways chap my hide. I find being addressed by a Drill Sergeant  aversive -- I don't like being blared at. I could say he is  a bull in a china shop. And so on.

In the olden days, before I had autistic friends, I might have had the idea that I could shame or discipline Mr. Idaho out of ... being who he was by nature. 

But then I met for example, Julia Bascom, who let me peek into her world with the The Obsessive Joy Of Autism.  And many have spoken of the cost of passing for neurotypical. Cynthia Kim's article Acceptance As A Well Being Practice is particularly insightful.

So I shifted my point of view.  My goal has become to find time and space to allow and encourage Mr. Idaho to be his natural self, his loud, exuberant, boisterous self....in ways where he doesn't run into limits or inadvertent bad outcomes.

I would not have gotten to this place of seeking settings for Mr. Idaho to be himself without the wisdom and guidance of my autistic friends. Thank you. And Mr. Idaho thanks you. He is a happier, more confident, more joyous boy. 

Edited to add: if you have favorite essays about the cost of passing, or how acceptance has changed your life, or similar topics, please put links in the comments. 

 

 

Advice from the OT Part 4 – Teach Your Students the Right Way to Write

This is must-read advice for teachers and parents, but especially parents of preschoolers.

Advice from the OT Part 4 – Teach Your Students the Right Way to Write.

In New York City, where I practice, children are expected to be able to write at the age of four. In my clinical opinion, this is two full years before they are developmentally ready, and does more harm than good.  If a child does not yet have the internal strength and stability to perform such a high level task, in order to comply with the grownups demands, he is going to have to manufacture it by straining and contorting his body in a very unnatural way.  This sets him up for a lifetime of poor posture and bad habits.

Everyday Health on ADHD Issues: Seeking Reader Feedback

In 2010 Everyday Health published  in-depth group interviews with a panel of 23 ADHD doctors and coaches.   These experts covered twenty of the most pressing ADHD issues related to children,  including diagnosis and treatment, medication, and behavior.

http://www.everydayhealth.com/adhd/expert-answers-on-adhd.aspx

 

ADHD, Part One: Exploring Causes and Treatment

ADHD, Part One: Exploring Causes and Treatment adhd experts causes and treatments Nearly one in 10 kids is diagnosed with ADHD — so it's not surprising that parents, medical professionals, and educators alike are debating these rising rates. From potential causes to non-drug treatment strategies, experts tackle some of the hot-button issues surrounding ADHD today.

• Why are so many more kids being diagnosed with ADHD?
• What are the causes of ADHD?
• How do you explain the value of ADHD treatment to resistant parents?
• How can school systems help ADHD kids?
• Which non-drug strategies work best?
• Can lax parenting cause ADHD?
• Does TV and video games cause ADHD?
• What role does diet play?

ADHD, Part 2: Diagnosing, Medicating, and More

Medicating kids for ADHD is a controversial topic among medical professionals and parents. Naysayers believe that children today are simply overdiagnosed and overmedicated, while advocates endorse these meds as a child's best chance at normalcy. Get the facts from our ADHD experts:

• How Is ADHD diagnosed?
• Is ADHD even a real disorder?
• If a child has ADHD, should parents be evaluated too?
• What is ADHD without the hyperactivity?
• Are ADHD meds overprescribed?
• Are ADHD drugs safe for children?
• What are the most common side effects?
• What are the long-term side effects?
• How fast does ADHD medication work?
• How young is too young for medication?
• Can ADHD drugs stunt a child’s growth?
• Are "drug holidays" a good idea?

The ADHD specialists interviewed:

Linda Aber
L. Eugene Arnold, MD, MEd
Frank Barnhill, MD
Eric Beam, PhD
Monte W. Davenport, PhD
Robert F. De Maria, DC, NHD
Lawrence Diller, MD
Jacquelyn F. Gamino, PhD
Kim Kendall, PhD
Erin N. King
Barry Lessin, MEd
Will Meek, PhD
Charles Parker, DO
Rhonda Pawlan, MS
David Pomeroy, MD
Patricia O. Quinn, MD
Steven Richfield, PsyD
Stephanie Sarkis, PhD
Rory Stern, PsyD
Jodi Sleeper-Triplett
Ari Tuckman, PsyD, MBA
F. Allen Walker, MD
Lara Honos-Webb, PhD

 Now Everyday Health is seeking reader response.  You can leave a comment here or respond directly to

[email protected]

via e-mail

 

Precocity, Academic Kindergarten, School Stress, and Boys

There's been a lot going on in the last few weeks.  This is more in the way of jottings in a notebook, rather than a studied response.

• Bewailing the state of handwriting  (for another view, see Tom Kunz, "Why handwriting is History"
• Concocting A Cure for Kids with Issues (on "vision therapy" -- pro and con article by Judith Warner. Also see Laura Novak's 2007 article, Seeing Double
• Pressure Cooker Kindergarten,  Patti Hartigan's August 30 2009 article for the Boston Globe
• Why Our Kids Won't Go To Kindergarten, the third in a series on homeschooling at Salon, by Andrew O'Hehir
• New Data on Why Boys are Falling Behind, by Richard Whitmire (more Whitmire at Why Boys Fail)
• East Palo Alto Academy Elementary School (a project of the Stanford University School of Education) is failing.  More commentary at Joanne Jacobs.

The Coffee Klatch on Twitter

Twitter-based chats.  The Coffee Klatch is:

A virtual cup of coffee with parents of special needs children. Our goal is to offer support, information, education and inspiration to the parents given the life unexpected, the life with a special needs child.

The Coffee Klatch is an interactive forum on Twitter bringing you expert guests including award winning authors, doctors, psychologists, advocates and representatives from the best children's organizations. We feature daily topics for all disabilities both physical and emotional.

Here's the calendar for April.  If you are on twitter, the hashtag is #tck. The easiest way to follow the discussion is to go to http://tweetchat.com/room/tck.

SAFE Voices -- Teens on Learning Disabilities

SAFE (Student Advisors for Education) is a program sponsored by the San Francisco Bay Area organization Parents Education Network

The mission of SAFE Voices is to

educate, mentor, and support students, parents and teachers regarding the challenges and strengths of LD and ADHD students.

Several years ago, teens then in the SAFEVoices program appeared at a conference:

Part One:


Part Two:




A learning difficulties awareness video featuring the SAFE Voices group and produced by Blake Rudolph. Premiered at AT&T Ballpark, San Francisco on 9/20/07.

My Baby Rides The Short Bus: Authors' Voices

This was the call for submissions:

We are seeking submissions from a diverse group of parents raising special needs kids who feel marginalized by their subculture status (economics, lifestyle, orientation, religion/atheism) and underrepresented in print.

Got tips on how to stay sane during the IEP process when you don’t believe in the system to begin with? Felt you had to hide you radical political books while the Early Intervention Folks come over? Found yourself stuck a mainstream world of special needs parenting that you don’t fit into?

Submit your stories to a upcoming anthology that features writing from parents in the know about what it's like to raise "special needs" kids -- with no sugar coating or the 'you will dream new dreams' kind of crap we're subjected to by mainstream media. Unfortunately we can’t pay, but all contributors will receive two copies of the book.

My Baby Rides the Short Bus has the subtitle: The unabashedly human experience of raising kids with disabilities, and  it has stories from women I know in real life, and from those I've come to know by reading their blogs.

Friday, I listened to JennyAlice, Squid, and Sarah Talbot on KQED's Forum with Dave Ivorsen.  This is a conversation you should listen to.

The mother who keeps the blog My Journey as a Parent describes herself as quite conformist, and not so sure that she'd find anything of value in a book of essays by self-described "non-conformist" parents. But at a book-reading, she finds herself moved:

The honesty in which she writes and tells her story is breathtakingly beautiful. All of the stories were like this. Parents making tough choices to do the best for their kids. Anticipating what their families' needs are and sacrificing their own. Uneasy of a world that judges our ‘not normal’ children and fearful of where they will find their place.

So, if being a ‘non-conformist’ parent means that I am a mom that is willing to stand up for her child and guide them despite the prejudices and judgements, then, ‘yes, please, sign me, up, too!’

I’ve read about half of the essays in the book and I’ve learned alot about what it takes to be an advocate for your child, how to navigate the IEP process, and how to bring laughter to the surface in difficult times. I’m grateful to this group of parents for sharing their stories.

Other reviews and coverage

• Contributor to the book Shannon des Roches Rosa interviews Jennifer Silverman at BlogHer.
• Feminist Review
• Daddy Dialectic
• We LOVE Kids' Books
• Dallas Moms' Blog ("Quite honestly, a few of these mothers have handled certain situations a lot better than I did.")

Parents, Avoid getting Scammed By Claims Of "Cures" for Learning Disabilities | GreatSchools

Valle Dwight has published an excellent short article, Beware the miracle cure: Miracle cure scams abound in the world of learning disabilities. Here's how to spot them..

Marshall Raskind, a learning disability researcher and author, shares a few tips on how to avoid getting taken in by people and products that promise a cure for LD or other disabilities.

“Parents should be suspicious about anything that claims to be a panacea, produces immediate results, or promises a cure,” Raskind says.

Go read the rest of the article. Take notes.

Parents, Are You Worried About Preschool Stuttering? Slow Your Own Speech Down

Sue Hubbard, a pediatrician, writes excellent blog, the The Kid's Doctor

She has a Question & Answer on When to Worry About Stuttering Sue writes about an email from

a mother who is concerned about her 2 1/2 year old daughter who has started stuttering in the last week. She asked” is this something to be worried about or just watch it and see?”

This is a common question from parents with preschool aged children, and is typically most frequent between 18 months and five years of age. Stuttering at this age is called disfluency or pseudo stuttering and is quite common as children learn to speak and develop more complex speech patterns. In many cases the stuttering occurs out of the blue, and may last for several weeks, and resolve, but may return off and on during the preschool years as a child is learning more and more language.

I left a comment taken from a post from mid-2008, Slow Down! I Can't Listen as Fast As You Speak!

Via the Dyslexia Tutor:

Ray Hull, Audiology professor at Wichita State University, tells new teachers that the trick to get children to listen is simple. Just slow down.

From the WSU newswire:

Some learning difficulties in children may be the result of too many adults talking too fast. Wichita State University audiologist Ray Hull says that adults generally speak at a rate of 160-170 words per minute, but a young child's central nervous system can only process speech at a rate of about 124 words per minute.

The Wichita Star online edition:

The gap between what a child hears and what he or she understands can appear to parents and teachers as inattention or outright defiance.

“If teachers would slow down, they would be less frustrated, the children would be less frustrated, and children would learn with greater ease,” Hull said.

An interview with Ray Hull.
Ray Hull's CV.

Underground Moms

I guess I'd have to say I am an underground grandmother, as my youngest will turn 21 in December. But I was definitely a free-range mother, and do what I can to support my two stepsons & daughters-in-law in fear-free parenting. Go check out the website, http://www.undergroundmoms.com/ . Some of my favorite moms who blog are there:

• Sara Bennett  Author of blog Stop Homework and book The Case Against Homework: How Homework Is Hurting Our Children & What We Can Do About It
• Squillo, from the blog Confutata
• EstherAr, from the blog Mainstream Parenting Resources
• Rational Moms

What are "Underground Moms?"

Underground Moms are not different from other moms in most ways: just trying to raise our kids and live our lives.  What’s different is that we try to examine the parenting culture we are swimming in, a culture that has brought us baby knee pads, professional babyproofers and prime time specials on child abductions.  Not to mention Baby Einstein.  (Do you know what the real Einstein played with as a child?  He built card houses.  So much for “educational DVDs”.)

All together, it is a culture that induces unnecessary self-doubt and fear in parents–fear that our children will be harmed, poisoned, slowed down, snatched, or bored for even a second.  At Underground Moms we look at where these assumptions come from, which ones merit buying into and which ones should be fought, for our sake and the sake of our precious kids.  We believe in freeing them from the restrictions that are baseless, and freeing ourselves from the extra guilt and worry.  In other words, it’s a liberation movement!  But so far without a good song!

I plan to work my way  through the blogs new to me.  Go over and take a look.