I Speak of Dreams

Happy Blogiversary to Me (warbles)

Myfirst post was December 2, 2003. The first month of blogging I spent a lot of time dumping things from my hard-drive files onto the blog. 

First post: what you find as you procrastinate.  I still like Adventure in How to Sing the Blues.  Best post that week:  Saying Irlen Lenses Can Cure Dyslexia Is Quackery.  Runners-up: Encountering First Nations with Respect.  Admission to Private School: Calm Down, Parents. Nanoreadership of blogs: do the math

As of April 2, 2017 (when I realized I hadn't done a blogiversary for years):

35,555,08 Lifetime Pageviews

729.93 Pageviews/Day

6,244 Total Posts

8,828 Total Comments

#BlogHer14 Quick Recap: Friday Afternoon Keynote: Voices of the Year: A'Driane Nievess

I was pretty much used up by the time the Voices of the Year part of the program came on, but A'Driane Nieves' essay, as she read it, rendered me speechless. Now you can hear and watch her too. Important today.

Blogger, A'Driane Nieves, of Butterfly Confessions, reads her powerful piece, "America's Not Here for Us" at the BlogHer '14 Voices of the Year Community Keynote. Find more of her writing on her blog: http://butterfly-confessions.com/.

America's Not Here for Us at Butterfly Confessions. America's Not Here for Us at BlogHer.

But as a woman of color raising an African-American son who has a Puerto-Rican stepfather and half-Puerto-Rican brother, I (and my husband) also bear the responsibility of teaching him about things like racism, white privilege, equality, how black and other brown men have been and still are perceived in American society, and really just about being a person of color PERIOD in the United States of America. I have to explain to him why "peach" people think he looks suspicious even though he might be doing the same exact thing they are doing-walking through a neighborhood, shopping in a store, hanging out with a group of his friends, wearing his favorite hoodie.

• A'Drianne Nieves on Twitter
• A'Drianne Nieves at PostPartum Progress

#BlogHer14: Birds of a Feather Mini-Con: Special Needs

The panelists, Jen Lee Reeves, Shannon Rosa, and Kristina Chew.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Before we launch into the 2014 summary, some history is in order. Special Needs bloggers haven't always been represented at BlogHer.

• #BlogHer14: Back Story on Special Needs at BlogHer, 2005-2008 (Shannon and Kristina were on the very first, 2008 panel).
• #BlogHer14: Back Story on Special Needs at BlogHer, 2009 and 2010 (Shannon was on the 2010 panel)
• #BlogHer14: Back Story on Special Needs at BlogHer, 2011 Edition (Shannon was on the 2011 panel).
• #BlogHer14: Back Story on Special Needs at BlogHer, 2012 and 2013 (Kristina was on one of the 2012 panels).

I Storified the discussion, up to the point that we took a short break and decided to "talk among ourselves"

I want to address the following question, by Kristi Rieger Campbell, who writes Finding Ninee

This is how I tweeted the question

This is how Ms. Campbell phrased the question on her blog

First, I explained that, for the past two years, my son Tucker has been in a preschool autism classroom, which is very contained and small, and that I started blogging when he was barely three years old. I said that next year, for kindergarten, he’ll be mainstreamed (with support), in school with 24 other students, 20 of whom are typical. I asked the panel and the audience at what point they consider becoming more anonymous when it comes to blogging about their children. I was hoping to have a discussion about protecting my son’s privacy while also continuing to be honest and true to spreading special needs awareness.

Ms. Campbell took great offense at what she heard Shannon say.

She also didn't mention my response to what I heard her say. I don't recall my response being terribly coherent, but the points I wanted to get across were

1. How open your are may depend upon conditions at your child's school and/or the district. I know that there are some blogging parents who have been retaliated against by their district.
2. It's possible to have varying levels of transparency, from password-protecting your blog to using pseudonyms to being completely transparent. Each family has to make that decision, based on their particular circumstances
3. Perhaps it's better for the child's classmates and teachers to get to know the child as he is today, rather than what he was like several years ago. Maybe those people don't need to know what he's overcome, right away.

I hope Ms. Campbell takes the time to read through some of the reports of the previous BlogHer sessions, in which question she raised was addressed by many others, both from the autism community and those with other disabilities

.

After the break, one of the people I sat down with was Miz Kp, who has an adorable and autistic boy. They live in New York City. I asked her a question, which she heard as :

“What can the white special needs community do to help the brown special needs community?” I was asked this question at the BlogHer ’14 Special Needs Mini Con session this past weekend in San Jose, CA.

If I said it that way,-- well, I apologize. It sure sounds condescending. That set of words wasn't what was on my mind. What I had in mind was "How does the white special needs community need to change to be more welcoming, more available to folk of color who have special needs or who are parenting special needs children?" What comes out of my mouth isn't always what's in my mind.

Miz. Kp answered the question, though, at her Sailing Autistic Seas blogpost, Why Minority Voices Matter in the Autism Community

 

 

I also had a chance to visit in person with Adrienne Jones, of No Points for Style. I didn't tell her, but I didn't recognize her right away -- but she has a large and beautiful tattoo like the image to the left, that's also the icon for her blog. Suddenly as we were speaking, my brain went CLICK! CLICK! CLICK! And I said something like, it's YOU! We talked about empathy for others' struggles, and sighed of the stigmas attached to thinking disorders and emotional disorders, and different paths to emotional differentiation.

I also traded hugs with Lexi Magnussun (formerly of her shuttered blog, Mostly True Stuff, now mostly on Facebook(edited to add: and now at Lexistential) and JillSmo of Yeah Good Stuff, who looks exactly like her avatar.

Edited to add: Lexi has

If I find more recaps of the Special Needs Mini-con, I will post them here

YIKES! I forgot that I have legible pictures of the post-it notes. Check back and scroll down

#BlogHer14: Back Story on Special Needs at BlogHer, 2012 and 2013

BLOGHER12 (New York)

 

There was a “Healthminder Day” the Thursday before the main conference with breakout sessions aimed at mothers of children with special needs.

Blogging about Your Special Needs Child

The more we share, the less isolated we feel. Blogging gives us the opportunity to convey messages of hope, strength, and reward alongside the challenges. But it is not without risk: Our blogging can expose us to debate about each care-giving decision. And when we blog, we share not just our stories, but our child’s, in a very public forum. Many of us question our right to do so, even as we also wonder: how else are we going to change the perceptions and policies that impact our children? Ellen Seidman moderates a conversation with experienced parents, caregivers, and bloggers Marisa Howard-Karp and Kate Canterbury as they tackle these tough questions, head-on.

Liveblogged by Blogher:  http://www.blogher.com/blogging-about-your-special-needs-child-0

Becoming an Expert Advocate 

 The best care, education, and support comes when you know how to fight for it… for yourself and for your child. The best understanding and empathy comes when you put a human face on “somebody else’s problem.” Learn how to be the best advocate and evangelist you can possibly be - inside the system, and out. Carol Greenburg moderates an empowering conversation with special needs and disability advocates Kristina Chew and Tanis Miller (formerly known as Redneck Mommy)

Liveblogged by Blogher: http://www.blogher.com/becoming-expert-advocate

Overcoming Burnout: Replenishing Your Reserves

"Place the mask on yourself first, and then help those around you who are unable to assist themselves." Easier said than done. We wear many hats every day: caregivers, therapists, teachers, and much more. Somewhere in that mix, however, we also need to take care of ourselves. This session, moderated by "the other" Julia Roberts, offers up practical, reasonable, and realistic tips on replenishing your reserves from involved and invested special needs bloggers Susan Senator and Laura Shumaker.

Liveblogged by Blogher: http://www.blogher.com/overcoming-burnout-replenishing-your-reserves

Wrap-ups and Reviews

• Lisa Quinonez-Fontanez http://www.autismwonderland.com/2012/08/10-things-i-learned-at-blogher12.html (She now blogs at Atypical Familia)
• Jean Stimey writing at The Thinking Person's Guide to Autism http://www.thinkingautismguide.com/2012/08/coming-out-autistic-at-blogher.html
• Ellen Seidman at Love that Max  http://www.lovethatmax.com/2012/08/raising-kid-with-special-needs-on.html
• Tanis Miller http://www.tanismiller.com/redneckmommy/2012/8/10/some-childrens-mothers-my-blogher-12-takeaway.html
• Miz Kp at Sailing Autistic Seas http://sailingautisticseas.com/mizkp-went-to-blogher12-and-all-you-get-is-this-post/

 

BlgHer13 (Chicago)

nothing specifically for special needs parents/ people with disabilities

Ooops! I was wrong. There was a Healthfinder Day track for Special Needs.

Special Needs and Caregiving Track

Session One: Changing Policy and Perception

Through their blogs, women are effecting massive change in their on-and-offline communities, and worlds. They are changing the way their communities and health care providers support their special-needs families.

Moderator: Jen Lee Reeves

Panelists:

• Christina Shaver who blogs at Hopeful Parents
• Julia Roberts of Support for Special Needs
• Louise Kinross, editor of Bloom (a magazine for parents of special needs kids)

 

Session Two: The Sandwich Generation

Take an honest look at the challenges of being caretaker for both a parent and child, particularly when one or both has special needs.

Moderator: PK Fields on Twitter as @Rtime
Panelists:

• Cecily Kellogg, who (I believe) blogs at UpperCase Woman
• Pamela Merritt (Shark-Fu) who blogs at Angry Black Bitch & tweets @Shark-Fu
• Varda Steinhardt who blogs at The Squashed Bologna

Session Three: State of the ‘Sphere

A moderated conversation with all track attendees about What I Struggle With and How I Do It, designed to identify our common problems and crowd-source solutions.

Moderators:

• Ellen Seidman, who blogs at Love That Max
• Jennifer Myers, who blogs at Into The Woods, Living Deliberately  

Sorry, people, I can't find any wrap-ups or summaries or take-aways. If you wrote one, or have a link to one, leave it in the comments, eh?

#BlogHer14: Back Story on Special Needs at BlogHer, 2011 Edition

Image Source: http://www.thinkingautismguide.com/2011/08/thinking-persons-guide-to-autism-at.html Left to right, Shannon, Aurelia, Robert, Julia

BlogHer11 was a big deal for special-needs bloggers. Julia Roberts (Support for Special Needs)  lobbied hard for a big special-needs presence at BlogHer, and got great support from the BlogHer team. The panelists' biographies are here.

Room of Your Own | Special Needs Mini-Conference

Friday Lunch 11:45am – 1:15pm Room of Your Own | Special Needs Mini-Conference The special needs blogging community is big enough–and important enough–to warrant this nearly three-hour mini-conference, co-hosted by moderator Julia Roberts and Support for Special Needs, and featuring Aurelia Cotta, Robert Rummel-Hudson, and Shannon Rosa....

Aurelia, Julia, Robert, and Shannon will share their own insights with the larger group, but you’ll also have the opportunity to go deeper in small round-table discussions moderated by parents of kids with special needs. Connect and share is the goal of this

Wrap-ups and Reviews

• Here http://lizditz.typepad.com/i_speak_of_dreams/2011/08/blogher-is-about-changing-the-world-special-needs-mini-conference.html
• Storify of tweets from the conference https://storify.com/lizditz/the-blogher11-special-needs-mini-conference
• Shannon Rosa http://www.squidalicious.com/2011/08/tpga-at-blogher11-special-needs-minicon.html
• Julia Roberts at Support for Special Needs http://supportforspecialneeds.com/2011/08/10/glimpse-of-commonalities/
• A Little Bit Quirky http://www.littlebitquirky.com/2011/08/blogher-11-special-needs-mini.html  
• Urban Mamas http://www.urbanmamas.com/urbanmamas/2011/08/blogher-11-conference-a-report-on-mommyblogging-2011.html
• Confessions of an IT Girl http://confessionsofanitgirl.com/2011/08/15/blogher-11-special-needs-mini-conference-recap/
• Shannon at The Thinking Person's Guide to Autism www.thinkingautismguide.com/2011/08/thinking-persons-guide-to-autism-at.html
• Jen Lee Reeves at Born Just Right http://www.bornjustright.com/2011/08/we-all-have-moreincommon/
• Robert Rummel at Fighting Monsters with Rubber Swords In the Company of Women http://www.schuylersmonsterblog.com/2011/08/in-company-of-women.html
• More in Common http://www.schuylersmonsterblog.com/2011/08/more-in-common.html

Here's the Storify linked above 

#BlogHer14: Back Story on Special Needs at BlogHer, 2009 and 2010

Previous Special Needs Mini Cons/ Birds of a Feather etc.

 

BLOGHER09 (Chicago)

There was a breakout session,  “PatientBloggers – You Are Not Your Disease, You Just Blog About It Every Day”.

• AmyT at DiabetesMine: http://www.diabetesmine.com/2009/07/patient-bloggers-at-blogher-09.html
• Kerri Morrone Sparling at SixUntilMe: http://sixuntilme.com/2009/07/patientbloggers_at_blogher09.html 
• Loolwa Khazzoom at Dancing with Pain http://dancingwithpain.com/telling-our-stories-support-garnered-from-the-blogher-09-conference/

Image source: http://www.stimeyland.com/2010/08/autism-unexpected-blogging-autism-and-shattering-myths-blogher-2010/  Left to right, Pamela Merrit, Shannon Rosa, Carol Greenburg, and Jean Stimey.

BLOGHER10 (New York)

There was a breakout session in the Personal: Blogging Autism: Shattering Myths, Opening Eyes and Finding Your Tribe

Autism is both more out in the open than it has ever been before and more shrouded in myths and mystery. Come learn and share your stories about how blogging contributes to the autism community as a source of support and outlet for parents, as a way for those not dealing directly with autism to gain more insight and sensitivity and as a tool for advocacy and activism. Shannon Des Roches Rosa, a parent of a child with autism, moderates the discussion with Shark-Fu, who is co-guardian of her autistic brother, Stimey fromStimeyland.com, who parents a child with autism, and Carol Greenberg, who is an adult with autism, from Brooklyn Special Needs Consulting.

• Shannon Des Roches Rosa's reflections http://www.squidalicious.com/2010/08/blogher10-friday.html
  
• Shark-Fu's reflections http://angryblackbitch.blogspot.com/2010/08/some-thoughts-from-blogher-2010.html and pre-conference interview with Shannon Rosa http://www.blogher.com/pamela-meritt
• Stimey's reflections http://www.stimeyland.com/2010/08/autism-unexpected-blogging-autism-and-shattering-myths-blogher-2010/

 

 

#BlogHer14: Back Story on Special Needs at BlogHer, 2005-2008

Image: The first special needs parenting panel at BlogHer in 2008

I should have done this before going to the conference. Some of the folk at the #Blogher14 Special Needs MiniCon might have benefited from the back story.

 

 

 

 

 

Previous Special Needs Mini Cons/ Birds of a Feather etc.

1. BlogHer05 (San Jose)--no specific programming or space for special needs parents/ people with disabilities
2. BlogHer06 (San Jose)--no specific programming or space for special needs parents/ people with disabilities
3. BlogHer07 (Chicago)--no specific programming or space for special needs parents/ people with disabilities

All that changed at BlogHer08, held in San Francisco. One session of the Mommyblogging track was "Blogging About Our Children with Special Needs":

If parenting in general can be isolating, it can be more so when raising a child with special needs. Susan Etlinger, Shannon Des Roches Rosa aka Squid Rosenberg, Kristina Chew, Jennifer Graf Groneberg, and Vicki Forman are among those MommyBloggers who are blogging their experiences...and finding both a community...and a cause. Join them. Share your story. Find out how, to quote Vicki, "...to embrace and treasure what makes us all different. And the same."

Coverage:

• Liz Ditz, here  http://lizditz.typepad.com/i_speak_of_dreams/2008/07/blogher-08-in-s.html
• Susan Etlinger, the panel moderator http://susanetlinger.typepad.com/the_family_room/2008/07/blogher08-redux.html
• Shannon Rosa, panelist July 20 recap http://www.squidalicious.com/2008/07/blogging-about-our-children-with.html
• Shannon Rosa, panelist, July 22 recap http://www.squidalicious.com/2008/07/blogher-role-modeling.html
• Happy Katie's liveblogging of the panel http://www.happykatie.com/tech/blogher/blogher08-blo/
  
  

Updates to the moderator and panelists.

• Susan Etlinger, The Family Room, pretty much ceased blogging about special needs in 2010. Her son is thiving, and now is eleven. 
• Shannon Des Roches Rosa, Squidalicious. Back in the day, she used the nom de blogue of  Squid Rosenberg, but dropped the anonymity around the time she co-founded The Thinking Person's Guide to Autism in June of 2010.
• Kristina Chew has had various blogs chronicling the grown of her son Charlie over the years (Happy Katie's liveblog gives a good summary of Kristina's blogging history). She, her husband James T. Fisher, and son Charlie moved to the San Francisco Bay Area at the beginning of 2014. She blogs now at We Go With Him.
• Jennifer Graf Groneberg published Road Map to Holland: How I Found My Way Through My Son's First Two Years With Down Syndrome in 2008. She is no longer updating her blog, Pinwheels, but here is a 2010 interview.
• Vicki Forman was stricken with tragedy shortly after BlogHer08. Her son, Evan Kamda, died.  Her memoir of life with Evan, This Lovely Life, was published after his death.  She is now a nurse in Southern California, and just became certified as a critical care nurse.

#BlogHer14 Quick Recap: Friday Noon Keynote Talks

Image Source: Lori Ann LaRocco's Blog

Elisa Camahort Page, Jory des Jardins, and Lisa Stone each delived a focused point

• Elisa: We do this to get results -- as you define it. (@ElisaC)
• Jory: Mobile is not a trend, mobile is a platform. (@JoryDJ)
• Lisa: Diversify your reach. (@LisaStone)

 

There were three 10x10 speakers: 

• Doug French :

  I am a proud veteran of 7 BlogHers, I am the co founder of Dad 2.0 Conference, and I am a man. I am a white, straight, Anglo Saxon, 11th generation male, and I'm here to talk about minorities and how they have benefited me over the years. I've always felt very comfortable here as a part of your community and I hope I can express the gratitude I feel. In 2008, I was the first male to speak at BlogHer. The 3 events I can distill this down to is I began a blog in 2003, I was laid off, I wad a dad, I called my blog Laid Off Dad. I interacted with mostly women. I saw that all these women I was interacting with were coming together to a conference called BlogHer. so in 2006, I came to the next BlogHer.

• Elise Bauer 

  In 2001, I was an executive at an internet start up. My company went bankrupt, I had to layoff 100 people. I also got sick with the flu. I didn't really recover from the flu, I would get well then I'd get sick again.... In 2003, I just gave up, I packed everything, moved home with my parents. I felt like a complete and utter failure, i was in my early 40's and I was devastated. There was a little light in this sea of darkness, I had started a food blog [Simply Recipes]. I had been collecting recipes from my family, hand coding them, and putting them in html. With blogging software, I was able to publish them easily. I didn'tk now how long I would have to be with my mom and dad so I just learned how to cook and documenting it.

• Deb Rox -- who totally rocked it. I loved her use of The Emperor's New Clothes as a story vehicle.

  Blogging gives us a front row seat at social media. Front row is where you get all the beads and the candy and you want all these. We're not just watching, we're creating this thing. We are leading the parade. Blogging is the fulfillment of a fairytale. My favorite fairytale is the Emperor's New Clothes. In the story, the emperor parades around in no clothes and all his yes men don't say anything, until one child points out the truth. Blogging is that child. You can tell your truth every day. We say how things are, which in effect says how things could be better. I love being the child calling things out. I love the call out culture. We actually playing every role in that myth. I can remember times when I've been the conman, or the silent townspeople, and I've definitely been the emperor who has made mistakes and needs to be called out. But that's all good. That's how we're learning and creating the capacity to do better and do more. Blogging lets us grow and become more as we are helping the culture become more.

  Here's her report on what it was like for her to stand up in front of a full room of 2,000+ people

 

Next up: Tig Notaro, a set and an interview with Elisa Camahort Page. Now, I'm kind of a popular-culture avoider, so I had no idea who she was, but I was charmed. Her delivery -- so dry and so droll! (A different set). 

Link to the BlogHer14 liveblogging report. 

#BlogHer14 Friends New and Old

I had several opportunities to visit with the dynamic duo of Tarrant Figlio and Denise Tanton.  The first time I remember meeting Denise was at BlogHer06, in the shade by a tree.  Since then, the dogs, the Mom, the grandparenting....Thanks for all you did to make BlogHer14 a success. I even saw Tarrant in a dress. It was fetching, but not red.  Aren't the two of them lovely? (Oh, and Tarrant's conference-going tips...)

I saw this tall, attractive brown-skinned woman outside the conference hall, and I was pretty sure it was @mochamama, Kelly Wickham....but I wasn't totally sure, because she had sunglasses on. I'm owning up to my difficulty with facial recognition here....it was Kelly, and once I was sure, I could spot her again without difficulty.  And I did, and got a personal update on The Tuxedo Men Project.  I'm excited that it's underway....and I hope it does get to be a documentary -- I'd love to hear the men speak. Oh, and Calling Out My Sisters and The Closing Keynote.  Speaking with Kelly also reminded me that Little Pickle Press deserves more of my custom. 

I finally met Margalit Francus in real life! She writes on travelling well while autistic, at her blog Autistic Globetrotting at the group blog Travelling Mom.  Earlier this year, I offered to host her son, who had an internship in Mountain View, if they couldn't find an apartment.  More on Margalit at the Special Needs Mini Con post (to come). 

And I shared a table with Celeste Lindell, Average Jane, who I peered at....and yes, I did meet her at BlogHer05, but the hair color was different. I forgot to ask her about her band.  

Pictured here with @guavalicious, who I did not consciously see....but you can catch up with her at Guavalicious Life. 

The Special Needs Mini Con was another opportunity to catch up with folks I have been reading for years, but haven't met in person. Check there for more conversation. 

#BlogHer14: Social Media Optimization

Social Media optimization (SMo) and Social Advertising

In a pair of lightning lessons, dig deeper into two more sophisticated ways to distribute and promote your content. SEO (Search Engine Optimization) used to be the gold standard for making sure your content got seen, but now it’s SMO (Social Media Optimization) that is driving views and audience connections. learn what SMO is, what it means for you, and how it can change your promotion and distribution game. Then, get schooled in the quickly changing world of advertising with the social giants: facebook and Twitter. There actually are ways to successfully manage an ad campaign on these major platforms. We'll start at budget setting and go all the way through metrics tracking, to help you guarantee success.

Presenters:

 

Peg Fitzpatrick spoke on Social Media Optimization Her personal blog is pegfitzpatrick.com; @pegfitzpatrick. She contributes to the collaborative blog 12most.com/, and is the Head of Social Strategy with Canva and works with Guy Kawasaki on Social Media. 

 

Maribel Lara spoke on Social Advertising.  She blogs at Que Pasa NYC; @latina_sweetie, is an  Account Supervisor at VaynerMedia.

 

Note: An anonymous blogger liveblogged this for BlogHer. You can read the post at Social Media Optimization (SMO) and Social Advertising